Tips on letting someone down gently
17 January 2014
Dating can be fun, with the excitement of meeting new people and the chance of finding new love or a companionship. However, it can also become tricky if you don't feel the same way about someone that they do about you.
Going on dates is a way of getting to know someone and seeing if you connect. However, it is not guaranteed that you and the person you are meeting up with are going to be an ideal match.
1. Be totally honest
If you are sure that someone you are dating or talking to you definitely isn't a correct match, then it's best to tell them this straight. There is no point making excuses about not wanting to meet up with someone again, as they are bound to ask again at a later date, which could cause more discomfort.
There is also no point stringing someone along if you are totally sure that you don't really like them. This is unfair as that person may become more emotionally invested in you. Playing games won't make either of you feel great, as at least one person usually ends up getting hurt.
2. Gently does it
You may have decided that someone isn't a correct love match for you; however that doesn't mean you have to give them a total character assassination by pointing out all of their downfalls.
Instead of telling someone what's wrong with them, why not just say that you didn't feel a connection and don't think you are totally right for each other? Remember, when letting someone down that you should treat them how you would want to be treated.
3. Don't totally cut someone out
If someone has developed feelings for you and cares for you, it could be cruel to just cut them off if you decide you don't feel the same.
Giving them an explanation about why you don't want to see them or speak to them romantically will bring closure to the situation and mean that no-one is left feeling confused.
Ignoring someone and hoping that they will go away will only leave both of you feeling deflated and will cause awkwardness if you happen to bump into each other.
4. Be clear
When letting someone down, you need to be clear that you don't have any romantic feelings towards them. Saying things such as "we can still talk" or "we should meet up soon though" will only leave them feeling confused, as well as complicate things, as they won't be sure it's definitely over.
5. Are you sure?
Make sure you're completely certain in your feelings before you let the other person know that the relationship isn't going anywhere.
Letting someone down and then deciding you like them the next week will only play with their emotions and make the whole situation messy.
As long as you follow the above tips, you should be prepared for any love matches that, unfortunately, don't work out. That way, you'll both be ready to move on and find a true match.
